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I found the second breakout session on Monday 13/05/2024 bizarre. I had a busy Monday morning, and I was feeling quite tired. I was eating my lunch when I joined the session, so my camera was off for the first aspect of the large group session. I turned my camera on, and took a break from eating my lunch, to join the first breakout session. I enjoyed the first breakout session, it felt safe and organic, because we were clear on what we had to do. It felt inclusive from my perspective, and we all had a chance to speak. I had met Alan at the previous session, so this supported my sense of continuity.

I then turned my camera off again to re-join the large group session and resumed eating my lunch – I was starving. We had received details about the first live session via email with detailed information on the activities and what to expect but to the best of my knowledge I did not receive the resources for session 2 in advance. I therefore entered the second breakout room not fully clear on what we were meant to be doing. It just seemed like a lot to take in.

My “share voice” was the voice of a confused person operating in a nebulous environment where it felt like surveillance was in operation (one person in the group, albeit a friendly and kind observer, was not taking part and was observing in an ambiguous context ). This was disconcerting to say the least. I now realise we had not selected a facilitator although I thought the lady who was leading the discussion had self-selected. There was one person in the group who was quiet initially but who did participate and then provided really considered inputs. As far as I can see everyone was participating on their own terms, but I cannot be sure, I just felt so confused the whole time. Everyone was so respectful and clearly good people but we had no connection as a group and I felt like we had been just thrown into this really strange situation.

In hindsight, I would have been more vocal initially about how unclear I was about the instructions for the task and particularly about how we were meant to collaborate to achieve a consensus. I am not sure that I was intentionally equitable within that context, I hope I was but for me the context was too nebulous to achieve intentionality.